English, it's her second language.

Ahhhh the Oma. Glorious things tend to occur when I'm with her. Whether it be racial comments, or the fact that I haven't created any self inflicted wounds, or the misuse of words.

Oma likes to mispronounce things. You can tell it's intentional because she's say the word three times. She thinks it's funny and cute, when, really, its annoying as all hell. Sometimes the mispronounce is actually legit. Case in point, the word humping.

My uncle was walking all stiff, and I asked what was wrong. Oma says he's done nothing buy hump for the last three days, he's humping everywhere in the house, he's stiff and he humps. My uncle I just look at each other for a moment, he says he thinks he has heel spurs.

When Oma and I leave the house for the the Saturday romp, she's still talking about the humping and that my uncle should go to the doctor to see what can be done to stop the humping. I told her nicely that the word she wants to use is 'limping' and that humping means something entirely different. (At that moment, I'm praying that she doesn't ask me what). She told me that I was wrong, the word is hump. He humps around the house. I asked if she means 'hobbles" and that he's hobbling around the house. In which hobble/limping would still be better words to use and not humping.

Oma gives me a mean little sideways glance and says "I don't know!! You know English is not my first language, I didn't start learning it until 1952 or 1953!!"

Apparently I hit a nerve.

I guess speaking the language primarily for the last 50 years doesn't mean anything to vocabulary.

After that she changed the topic to politics, her hatred for China and the stupid drunk redneck (aka Georger W), and how she feels bad for the black guy (aka Obama).

Rock out, humping.

Seriously, I should do stand up.

I know, it's been forever again. But we are going to pretend that is hasn't been. It's easier that way.

Tuschka and I were chatting books the other day. Amazon's been like one giant freebie lately with some of the books. I love me some books, I love me some books that are free even more. Even if the book sucks, it's still not bad because it's FREE. There seems to be themes to the free books. We snatched up a bunch of dirty smutty books a while back. And then there were some period pieces- like 1800's or so. Now there's a bunch of Jesus books.

I downloaded a couple of "Christian" lit books, unbeknownst to me that they were all "Lordy Jesus". The first one I read- The Apothecary's Daughter- actually wasn't all that bad. I thought for sure my eyes were going to burn out of my head for partaking in a Jesus book, but it didn't get all God-y until the end when the main character was praying for the health of loved ones and for help in a bad situation. I can deal with that.

After reading Jesus book #1, I had to insure my position in the hand basket, and read some 2 (soon to be 3) book series about a psychic/time rewinder, and then a weird ass, yet stupid, paranormal smut book with a fabulous title: The Ghost Shrink, the Accidental Gigolo, and the Poltergeist Accountant.

Now I'm reading Jesus book #2, A Bride Most Begrudging. Set in colonial America with a fiesty daughter of an Earl and a stubborn tobacco farmer. Now with all there stubbornness and head butting, this would make for great smut. Cold, crass, colonial sex. But since the Lord is involved, it's not going to happen. AND it's not considered "Christian Lit" it's "Inspirational Lit". This is book is very into the Praise Jesus; Lord, God Above; Sweet heavenly Father. I'm going to die.

Yesterday I was giving Tuschka the low down on the new Lordy Jesus. At that point in time it wasn't so bad....then I read a bit more and we were quoting actual scripture. Holy hell. I text Tuschka asap.

Me: they just quoted the bible- complete with scripture. Psalms 9:16
Tuschka: Yikes!
M: Word. If it gets much worse, I might not finish.
T: Poor L!!!!
M: word...........tis a sad sad day. L 11:5
T: hahahahaha.

Now tell me- is that not funny?? Seriously- that is some funny stuff. I kill me. It's like my Mary Magdalene. I'm a genius with the religious joke. I need to do a routine all around that.

Oma would be so proud.

Incase you're curious, there's more bible quoting and reading and commenting of all things Jesus and God. I would quit, but now I'm almost done. Might as well just suck it up and just finish it.

Rock out, with your bible.

And just where do I think I've been???

Where the hell have I been you might ask?? Nowhere special for the most part. I have found that working from home with no real interaction with coworkers makes for a very dull life. Sure I email Meanie, Skank, PPE, and even Captain Quirk…but it’s not the same as actually working with said peeps (well, for those that live in the same state as me) and creating hijinx.

So where to begin? Since I haven’t said two words since April, I feel like there’s a lot to say, but in some ways not that much at all. The only thing I can think of is recapping, random frontish.

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Babies…

I’m not talking about the movie here, but I might as well be. Babies are the theme this year. “Friends” on FB are in the process of spawning left and right. I believe there are 5 little ones that have either made their appearance or will be making one this year by September.

At Easter it was announced that Hitler and Ava will be adding another one to their little brood. The new nubbin is to arrive in November. We were wishing and hoping for a girl, but goddamn Ava and his y-sperm, it’s another boy.

I told Hitler there’s always China, and she might want to start working on that now, so she has a girl in the next couple of years, and not when Boo and #2 are teenagers. She’ll be too old to deal with another baby by then.

Then a couple of weeks ago Bobo and SIL made their announcement that she’s expecting, and estimating a late January due date. This week at her doctor’s appointment she was told she was 12 weeks, and not we are holding out again for a girl to arrive the first week of February.

C’MON GIRL!!!!

Now we come to Miss Skankolicious. I think I might have said she was knocked up earlier, frankly I can’t remember, and even more frankly, I’m not checking past blogs to see if I did. SKANK IS KNOCKED UP!!! She’s currently 38weeks pregnant with the Beast Part Deux. She’s having a boy, and currently, in utero, they are guessing he’s over 10lbs. My vagina hurts every time I talk to her.

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I got a Visitor!

I have been loved in June. My fellow Jewish Princess, Tuschka, came to visit me for ten whole days. It was glorious. Except for one thing that totally sucked ass. I couldn't get the week off from work. No worries, I'll just work a bit in the morning, while she sleeps, relocate to the parental household for some pool time, go out at night, and work in the morning again. Easy peasy right??? WRONG!!!

Work was a disaster at the start of the week. Apparently a 'quickie' training phone call with me to do some new stuff doesn't work so well. Especially when I'm not given all the information I need. So I do all this stuff wrong, and then sites are ready to go live and guess who has to scramble for 3 days fixing shit that wasn't known??? ME!!! So Tuschka spent a lot of alone time in the pool, while I worked. I felt bad.

The week before she came out and the week after her visit....FUCKING DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL. So doesn't that just figure.

At least we got a couple of things accomplished. 1) Grand Canyon and Sedona 2) ECLIPSE 3) Sunburn 4) New washing machine. All will be explained in a few moments...

I'm glad that Tuschka came out. She got to meet some of my peeps at the movies, put some faces to names. It was good hanging out together, it was almost like college all over again, but in a bigger space.

Tushcka and I watched lots of movies. The main feature being Pride and Prejudice with the dishy Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. That is supposed to be the best P&P, and so we had to watch. This P&P version was FIVE HOURS LONG!!!! FIVE!!!! And a mini series on the BBC, where each and every chapter of P&P was played out, not a thing left out. Granted it was more entertaining than the book, but there was no way we were going to watch 5 hours of a boring ass movie. So we did it like Cliffnotes, after about 2 hours, and fast forwarded to the good bits and anything with the Darcy. I didn't quite get the Darcy appeal until seeing him 'live and in person' by way of Mr. Firth. He's very enjoyable, in the brooding/mysterious sort of way.

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Sunburn! OUCH!!

So, I got a lovely burn while lounging in the pool for 30 minutes with Tuschka. And it was localized in one spot. The one spot I didn't put sunscreen on. The back of my legs. From my ankles to the just under the butt cheeks, were very, very pink. And it hurt. Naturally. When did it hurt the most you might ask?? When I had to pee. Hard toilet seat and burnt ass not so fun.

It was even more fun when I started peeling. Then I was a flaky ass. FUN!!

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Grand Canyon

Overlapping part of Tuschka's trip was a visit from my cousin, who resides in TN. We all got along smashingly. We laughed a lot. It was a quick little trip...heading up to the Canyon on Saturday, staying in Flagstaff for the night, and then driving to Sedona on Sunday, on our way back to Phoenix.

While in the Canyon we saw some elk. Let me tell you, elk are HUGE. Way bigger than I had actually anticipated. And we saw some deer.

We also saw people being stupid idiots and I was waiting for them to fall off the edge.

We dined that night at this little 60s diner called The Galaxy. I had a great banana shake and a mediocre meal. If you decided to go to the Canyon and stay in Flag and want a kitchy place to eat on Rt 66, find the Galaxy. But stick to the ice cream stuff. that would be better.

In Sedona we did a jeep tour. Tuschka almost got popped out of the jeep!! Haha!!! It was really interesting. Our guide, Larry, talked about the formation of the red rock, gave us some geology and history lessons. And we got some great pictures.

Lunch in Sedona was a mexican place where the outside seating was on the roof, and you had great views of red rocks. It was purdy. We went strolling into a couple shops after. There was a fudge shop...OMG!!! It smelled so, so, so good but I was so full from lunch that I didn't buy anything, which I regret. But I did get a mango shake on the way out. Holy crazy good batman.

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ECLIPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of delicious. That movie...and Edward...It was fabulous. Tuschka and I saw it 3 times that week. Midnight show, IMAX, and once again because we heard that Eclipse cast members were showing up in theaters, and we went to the show where someone was supposed to be...

Anyways, the movie. It was fabulous, it did not disappoint. I need to see it some more before it goes away. Which will be a sad, sad day. Until I get it on DVD.

And Edward....there were a couple of times I had to refrain myself from licking the screen. So delish.

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Home Improvements.

Still doing improvements around the house. The last 2 projects: kitchen ceiling and plantation shutters.

I had a nice big tree outside my unit that I really enjoyed. I could see it reflected in the mirrors over the fireplace, it felt like I had the outside in. The tree gave good shade from the late afternoon sun. Then the condo idiots decided to trim it up, and I had no more tree, practically. And I knew that my living room was going to roast. I stopped at Homey and ordered me up some shutters for the windows/skylights. Now I live in a cave. Which I also like. It makes me want to nap, when I come out of the office and it's all dark in the living room, and I have to work. But it was a great little investment, and not too horribly expensive.

The project I feared the most turned out to be the least problematic project I had done. Go figure. There were no surprises, other than there not being any problems.

The drop ceiling was ripped out, the new lights that Meaning helped me pick out when up, painting, did a decorated trim, and a vinyl boarder. It's like a new kitchen. I couldn't be happier.

I thought I was done with new things. Got the shutters, the new kitchen lighting, and I was going to start putting money away again. Then my washer broke while Tuschka was here. So I went out to Lowes and got me a new one. My delivery options: Thursday PM or Friday AM/PM, or anytime after that. I took Friday AM, that way if Thursday was a light day, we wouldn't have to hang around waiting for the delivery guys we could go swim. Well, I should have done Thursday...if I did I wouldn't have gotten sunburn, and the bastards didn't show up until 2pm!!!! I was sooo pissed. What pissed me off even more was I essentially had no work on Friday, and Tuschka and I could have played the whole day. Instead, we waited for Lowes. Super annoyed. But my washer's pretty and it works.

The week after that got in, I have another little something starting to die on me. My TV!!!! Seriously. This is ridiculous.

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Travels

I'm currently writing to you from my hotel room in the burbs of Hotlanta. I'm doing a little work travel. Getting more training. In May, I was trained for a new little diddy for work. Then I got a 5 minute call for a second part on the new bit that I then royally fucked up. So now, I'm getting more training. However. I really don't think I've learned anything. When discussing my getting more training, the trainer said "I need at least 2 weeks"...WTF??? TWO WEEKS??? The sup said to do one week and see where we stand after that. What sort of training have I gotten?? Not much. I got a binder with forms and what they should look like, and how to enter them. That's it. Did I get any work to apply my 'new knowledge'? Not really. This is going to be a cluster fuck waiting to happen....AGAIN. Most of my day was listening to my trainer complain about our incompetent partners and how they keep sending over garbage that we can't work with. And basically, it's all greek to me. So. This was a great week for learning.

I haven't done much of anything but train, and go back to the hotel. I was going to go out and see somethings or wander around a bit. But the 3 hour time difference is throwing me for a loop...and there's not really much to see where I'm at. But I did stop at the grocery store so I could get sandwhich stuff for dinners at the hotel, instead of eating out the whole week. While I was cruising down the snack aisle, a saw a BIG.FAT.COCKROACH!!!! I about died.

Also, MSN posted a story about the new uprising of bed bugs. Not good for the slight germaphobe that I already am. I mean, I can't walk barefoot in a hotel to begin with. And I get wigged out thinking about the nastieness that already transpired in the room. Now I have to look out for fucking bed bugs. Thanks MSN, you're a peach!!

What will make this week in Atlanta worth it will happen tomorrow!!! When I leave for the airport, in 17hours, instead of boarding a plane to Phoenix, I will be heading to Pittsburgh to see my dearest PPE and his TWAH!!! This will be soo fabulous!! We have some fun things planned, like seeing a movie in the gardens at night, I'm going to be cooking dinners, going out to lunch (Panera and sushi!!), seeing some movies (ECLIPSE!!!!), PPE loves to watch the scaries with me, so I'll be a flailing queen. I can't wait to get on that plane and see him.

*******************

GLEE!!!!!!!!

One of the best things I could have done was getting tickets to the GLEE! concert with Meanie. It was like the show, happening live and on stage. It was AMAZING!!! I couldn't stop singing or smiling. I was being excited. Meaning had fun too. I took a bunch of blurry pictures. And I'm wishing and hoping and praying that they do another concert again. I so want to go again. It was so much fun!!!

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Speaking of singing.

Have you heard about the Grease sing a long?? Guess who went?? ME!!!! Guess who sang a whole bunch??? ME!!!!! Guess who also repeated every movie line??????? ME!!!!!! Luckily I wasn't the only one there repeating lines, and the whole point was to sing. So. It was the most fun. Again. I lalalalalalove that movie. My little partners in crime: Meanie, CC, and CwJ. I wish it was running longer, I so want to see it again. Not that I don't have it home. But it's just not the same.

I wonder if there's a Danny Zuko/Edward Cullen hybrid out there??

*******************

Sad news, with some happy

A little death in the family. One of the dogs had to be put down. Poor Miss Kami Lou. It was horrible and unexpected. She just wasn't right all of a sudden, and the vet said there was a tumor on her spleen. Usually they are benign, and you remove the spleen and the dog is fine. When they started the surgery, everything was not fine. And they called my aunt and uncle right away to tell them.

Kami started off with Ava. Ava moved in with Hitler and me, and she became my sleeping doggie. Then I moved out. She had ACL surgery, after Boo was born and needed to be in a home without stairs, and she went to my aunts for rehabbing. But Oma fell in love with Kami and didn't want to give her back. So that's where she stayed. She was happy and spoiled and loved even more than before, if that was even possible.

The loss of Kami was hard. So hard, in fact, that my aunt couldn't handle the house without her. They went and got themselves a puppy. A yellow lab, Katie. She's adorable and everything a new puppy is.

Jaeger, not a big fan of her's yet. He's tolerating her well enough though.

I really want Kami back though... She's one dog, that if I could have live forever, I would. She was just a really, really good dog. And Oma really, really misses her.

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Good reads

I'm a reading fiend, naturally. Some to look into: Actor and Housewife, Shannon Hale; Paging Aphrodite, Kim Green; Linger, Maggie Stiefvater. I've reread the Twilight, and some dirties.

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New Music

Check out: Eclipse Soundtrack; Brothers, Black Keys; Sigh No More, Mumford and Sons; Baby Darling Dollface Honey, Band of Skulls; Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers, The National; Boxer, the National; I and Love and You, The Avett Brothers.

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Okay. That's it. I can't think of anything else.

I'll try to not have a 5 month gap again.

OH!!!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT ONE BIG THING!!!!!! Guess who's filming near PPE in the Pittsburgh??? Mr Taylor "Wolf boy/Abs of steal" Lautner. Guess who's hoping to do a little stalking and get a picture from afar?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ME!!!!! Wish me luck!!

Rock out, with your caught up cock out!!!

An Oma quote...

It's been quite some time since Oma said something that just makes me shake my head... Actually it hasn't been awhile, I just keep forgetting what she said.

I suck.

Anyways...

The Oma Quote:

For a Jewish woman, she really likes baseball.

Referring to my uncle's best friend taking his mom to the White Sox (VOMIT) home opener, with seats behind home plate, and they were seen on TV.

Apparently if you are Jewish you aren't supposed to like baseball, let alone a Jewish woman.

Leggo my eggs (no "o")

Last Friday for the Easter festivities, at my parents request because they went to Vegas to see Donny and Marie (insert vomit here), they asked if I would do the eggs for them. Dad was all excited because he got GLITTER EGGS!!!! The glitter.....it was a pain in the ass and the glue took of the dye.

Meanie was my accomplice in the egg endeavor.

Here's they dying mess....

It took forever to make 18 eggs. We started at 10pm and was done by 1am.

GJ that was going to be attending the Easter dinner, so I made a Passover Egg for him. Complete with sparkly yarmulke!!

A Pirate!!! ARGH!!!!!

An Alien.

Buck, buck, a turquoise chicken. How funky is your chicken???

A bad attempt at Mr. Potato Head.

Oink Oink!!!

ROARRRRR!!!!!

Easter Bunny, in orange. He was yellow, but he was glittered, and the yellow faded, unfortunately yellow gave way to a new color and he became orange.

This bad boy, was the cause of many laughs. I was crying, Meanie almost peed herself. It was also late. The Screamer...or Macaulay Culkin ala Home Alone. The hands did us in.

Just a face...no special name.

JESUS!!!!!!! I was concerned about getting the Oma made with this one, but she said it was nice. And then after the Easter festivities, she wanted to take an egg home to eat. I told her to eat Jesus, it will be like communion.

And how could I, with the sparkly kit, not make an Edward???? I know he's not supposed to have fangs...but at least this way people would know what he is!! A SPARKLY VAMPIRE!!!!

Isn't he cute??

I love him!!!

He also made a really good egg salad too!!

Rock out, with bad ass eggs.

The first obsession.

As I had mentioned in the previous post, on the 20th a group of us (Meanie, CwJ, another coworker, and myself) went to Captian Quirk's for a NEW MOON MOVIE PARTY!!!!!!!

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Captian Quirk just moved to a new place that boasts a mini-movie theater, so it would be the perfect spot for viewing NEW MOON (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). When plans were being made, I though to myself that it was just going to be a room with a big projection screen, nothing all that great. And boy was I wrong!!! It's actually like a mini-movie theater, with stadium style seats, holds probably 30ish peeps, suround sound....all that was missing was the concession stands, but we brought our own food, which was much better then the crap at a real theater.

When I walked into the theater, there were movie posters all over the walls...and what do I see behind the popcorn machine??? No- not Twilight.....But GREASE!!! I needed a picture!! I moved the popcorn machine, grabbed a chair from the other room hopped up and had my picture taken with Danny Zuko....sigh.....

How I used to wish I was Stephanie Zanoni and I would marry Danny Zuko, and he needed to have a motorcycle to seal the deal.

Movie night was fun, but since Edward wasn't predominant in the New Moon, I found my eyes casually diverting over to the Grease poster.

After the movie we retreated back to Captain Quirks for dessert and some good laughs. A large source of laughter was the housewarming gift I got him. I giant rooster pitcher and a giant book of cocktails. Giant cock and cocktails!! It's a theme!! However some of the recipes in this book were horrendous. Prime example The Prairie Oyster. I can't imagine actually consuming this concoction without throwing up.

Rock out, with Zuko and a giant cock!

The Front of Life...

I've actually had the small case of HAVING A LIFE the last week and a half or so.

Don't keel over. I know it's shocking. I'm shocked. And I'm even more shocked that I haven't keeled over yet.

And I'm going to do a little random fronts to convey all the life I've been having.

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Remodeling 101 (the bullshit front)

So I've mentioned I'm sprucing the pad up a bit. (I can't say 'spruce' without thinking of Tuschka's Italian grandmother, Mamama, one time came into Tuschka's room where a group of us girls where hanging out, and she said "what are you 'shpruces' doing in here?" we gave our response, and Tuschka just said "mamama just called us sluts". So when I hear sprucing up something, I think of slutting up.) I did some painting, want to get new lights for the bathroom, and I'm having a pocket door installed soon in the tiny master bath area.

I had in my had, to have this pocket door adventure would probably be around $400, after price research. So my guy comes to measure, so I can get an estimate....Guess who needs a custom frame???? ME!! Everything about this place needs special something when I go to replace. Have standard sizes really changed that much in 20 years, or was my place built with out standard measurements for shits and giggles because at the time it was cheaper?? So my nice and fancy pocket door is going to be closer to $600. ROCK ON!!

Interior water feature, revisited (the wet front)

I've have had my share of interior water features (here, here, and here), and the features are free to start off with, but to fix, it costs a pretty, pretty penny. After all my painting was said and done, and my place put back together and cleaned up, I hear the sound of water dropping. Actually, just 1 drop. And I was trying to figure out where the hell it was coming from, and I heard the drop again. My eyes quickly moved to the leather chair...and the arm had a little puddle.

MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!

And I see a drop coming down from ceiling. GODDAMN SKY LIGHTS!!!!

I quickly call up Mr HOA, even though it's a Sunday. I tell him my deal. Mom's staying with me (that part to come up next), and she's yelling in the background "FIX IT!!! FIX IT NOW!!!!!!" all obnoxiously. I waver her away, and go into my bedroom and close the door to finish the conversation. Mr HOA says that the seals around the windows are starting to go, and they have been having a lot of problems this spring with leaks. Call me crazy, but wouldn't want to be preemptive and fix them all right away rather than waiting for everyone to get leaks and water damage which is going to cost the HOA more to fix???

So I got resealed last weekend. Here's hoping things stay dry. And now I have more painting to do, because I have some yellow stains now. YAY!! Just want I want to do- more painting.

Mother fuckers.

Life with Mom...

A couple of weeks ago Mom, in her continuing treatment for the cancer, got something new done. She did a radiation embolism. And since she was going to be radioactive, she couldn't be around small children, the impregnated, or pets for 1 week. I shipped fatty to her house, and she stayed with me, since I would be the least impacted (only 1 pet to relocate, no small kids, and def not impregnated). It was nice to have her here, and it was quiet without the constant barks/growls/grunts from Jaeger.

We'll see next week how the embolism went, and if she'll need to do it again.

She had the pleasure of watching me paint away, providing orders on how I was painting, but not actually helping. She supervises only. Which was slightly annoying, especially when I wasn't asking for supervision.

Then we had the outburst of "FIX IT!!! FIX IT NOW!!!" After the call I told her that her tourettic outburst wasn't appreciated. She said I was being too nice and they need to fix it now. I said, if I'm calling about a problem the first time I don't have to go into uber bitch mode right away, plus Mr HOA isn't Mr FIX IT!!! He has to submit a work order and stuff. She simmered down after that. But GOOD LORD!!!!

Pride and Prejudice

Tuschka FINALLY finished P&P for BC42, it only took her about 3 months. Not that I'm one to talk because it took me a month to read. Nothing takes me a month to read. I've read behemoths in a weeks time, but this was just rough.

And quite frankly, I didn't get the hoopla. I like the Darcy, all quiet, reserved, and bruiting. Reminds me of another fictional character that I la-la-love....

But over all, the book didn't really do anything for me. Maybe I wasn't cut out for the classics. I was hoping to be all in love with it, with Elizabeth and Darcy. I still want to see the movie with Colin Firth (ha cha cha), and see if maybe visually, I'll appreciate.

To me the book seemed slow moving, every time I started to read, I would fall asleep. Even when there was drama going on with Lydia, and I really wanted to know what was going to happen next, I couldn't stay awake. I heard rumors about this hot scene with a wet Mr. Darcy, and it didn't do anything for me. I'm sure back (way back) in the day, that scene was one step away from porn, but I wasn't reading it in that frame of mind. I think, maybe, if there was more Darcy/Elizabeth more development between the two of them, I would have liked it more.

I'm happy I read it, maybe if I read it a second time, I could appreciate more. But I don't want to struggle with that right now.


MOVIES!!
I've had 2 movie dates!!!

Shutter Island with Meanie, was first up. I already had my suspicions about this movie. And I was right, but not about all of it. And I was afraid to see this move, since in the previews during Paranormal Activity, I jumped out of my seat. I felt like torturing myself with the scare, and Meaning was going to tag along.

Let me say, it's not scary. At all. A little intense at parts, especially when I remember where I had a heart attack in the preview, but I covered my eyes until I realized it was safe to watch. It's a thinker, it's suspenseful, it's got Leo. What's not to love??

Movie #2 Remember Me with CwJ. Initially the soul purpose of seeing this movie was to see the Eclipse trailer that was before it, even though I was intrigued by the story line. And even more intrigued by the big brother/little sister interaction that was shown in the preview.

I really liked this movie, until the end. The end was awful. There's a lot of pain, coming to terms with death of family members and what not. What surprised me was how much interaction there was between Tyler and Carolyn (his 11 year old sister). There was something about that protectiveness that made my ovaries sing. Rob was hot and extremely enjoyable to look at. **singing ovaries**

And then the movie ended with an ending that seriously pissed me off. I was not happy, I cried, and I was mad. I leaned over to CwJ and was all "you've got to be fucking kidding me right????" and when my own question was answered by the next few moments on the screen, the tear fell, and I was getting increasingly more aggravated.


St. Paddy's Day, and an introduction
How do most people celebrate the St Patrick's Day?? Getting seriously shit faced, maybe eating corned beef and cabbage, and getting seriously shit faced. Not me. I don't go for those mass alcohol consumption sort of holidays. And typically, I do nothing on those holidays.

However, this year, I was propositioned to go out. So out I went. To SUSHI!!! Went with Meaning and introducing the coworker friend that has been needing a nickname for quite some time...........Captain Quirk!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's been present in some chatter and I needed to come up with something that fits him, and Captain Quirk it is...

So, Sushi with Meanie and Captain Quirk was highly enjoyable. First off, decent happy hour menu, complete with $5 stoli's, and they didn't skimp on the stoli either. There was a lot of laughing, funny stories, and minimal bitching about work. It's nice being with friends from work, and you can talk about more than just work.


Fucking Facebook
Why am I on it again??? That's right, because everybody else is!!! And who just signed up??? My father!!!!!!! This can't bode well. Luckily he's don't nothing, and I don't even know why he's on, but he is.

Also, got into my first FB tiff last week, and got unfriended in the process!! HAHAHA!!!!! Ava's brother got all butt sore and decided that he needed to lecture me and Hitler. He stated something about hang over food, I commented about the restaurant of choice (mmmmmmm food poisoning), and Hitler asked if HHBB had too much fun drinking with his parents. Nothing worthy of a massive lecture. Hitler, who can still shock the hell out of me with her politeness (I think spawning changed her a bit, because in her youth, Hitler would be the first to tell you to fuck off and die. Whereas I was 50/50 on my approach...now I'm more 75/25 with my fuck off and die/polite approach.), apologized.

I however, did not. I dished it right back, with out low blows, name calling, OR SWEARING!!! I did not swear, and that is a miracle in and of itself. It was well written, and I was very happy with my response. So I twitched and waiting for a comment back. THE FUCKER DELETED THE WHOLE THING!! Now, I'd like to think that it was because I proved him wrong, and he doesn't like to be wrong. So rather have the embarrassment posted of his being wrong, he removed any traces of it. Then the next day, I noticed I was missing 1 friend and knew exactly who it was.

Apparently HHBB was sooo worked up with the whole FB thing, that he and his parents didn't come out with us Friday. And he is scheduled to appear today, at least I haven't hear otherwise.

FB is fucking trouble. But I'm still giddy about the little fight, and HHBB being an ass about it.


DON'T FORGET!!!
Tomorrow is NEW MOON RELEASE DAY!!!!! Going to Captain Quirk's for a viewing party. His complex has a mini theater room, should make for some fun time. Meanie, CwJ and another coworker will be there. I need to get him a house warming gift...and theme to be quirky. Hopefully I'll find the perfect quirky thing tonight!!

**************************************

So that's my exciting life...and it all took place in 2 weeks. Now, I'll go back to my lonely hermitted existence for the next couple of months.

Rock out, cock out, peace out.

MIA

Almost another month has passed with low end excitement from the life of me.


I'm still doing a little freshening up around the condo. It needs it. And while I'm working this second job for the previous employer (because INDIA ROCKS!!! and the stupid LIFs still, still, can't do shit), I should use that money wisely. (It was either going to sit in savings were I refuse to use it, if it was intended for home stuff, or just get home stuff right away).

What did I get next after my new appliances??? NEW TOILETTES!! I know, it's exciting. I mean, really what can top a new toilette??? And not just one but TWO new toilettes. I can feel the envious glares.

The new pots were put in last week. Everything works smashingly. The toilettes flush in 1 try, they don't run (and run, and run), they aren't loud...it's great. Who knew that toilettes can be so life altering. Just a slight problem...


My master bath is 2 separates spaces. You walk into the master and it's like a mini hallway, and you face the closet, to the left you have the double vanity with another door where the tub/toilette is, and to the right you have the bedroom. The area of the tub/toilette is a very small space. It's the length of a tub, and then the width of the tub plus another 31 inches (since I have a 30 in door and with the door open there's maybe an inch gap between the door and the tub). To close the door to the tub/toilette area I have to stand sideways, between the tub and toilette, or stand in the tub. So it's a tiny space. The new toilette is a fancy jacuzzi toilette (I might be able to afford to soak in one, but my ass can afford to sit on one) that's tall and skinny. And since it's a tight space, I did the rounded seat, knowing that the elongated was not going to fit. And after the toilette was put in....guess what????????? THE DOOR DOES NOT CLOSE??? The new toilette is a fraction of an inch too long, so the door hits it.

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!!


I took pictures with my phone.

Here's my tiny master space. I can't even stand in there to get a good picture. I have to be on the outside and hope for the best.

And then here's the space with the door closed....

I thought about sanding down the door, just enough so it can close. Which, lets face it, since I'm home alone, I never, ever do. And if people are over, I usually just close the door to the bedroom. But, since the space is tiny, and there is a linen closet behind the door that doesn't close, it would be nice to get access it. So I'm looking into a pocket door for that tiny space. Something I wonder why it wasn't done in the first place.

I also did some painting, add color, remove color, and tone down some color. But I'll talk about that next time.

Good times never end around here.

Rock out.

To warm the cockles of your heart

First off I apologized for the lengthy gap. Wish I had could say that something salacious was happening in my life and here's the sordid JUICY details. But, sadly, that is not the case. I have been living the life of a hermit. A perfectly content hermit. Which slightly concerns me. I get a little twitchy and want to get out of the house and do something, but the urge to actually leave is stronger, and I don't go. I'd rather stay home in my pajamas/loungewear. So my life is very, very, very, very boring.


One highlight would be that I FINALLY purchased new kitchen appliances. Just a stove and a dishwasher. The stove was fine, just ugly, and dishwasher wasn't really working anymore.


Here's the before:

And my after. It looks soo much cleaner now, more refreshed.

After years of talking about it, I'm glad I finally did it.

And to christen such a joyous event, I decided to dirty up and make truffles. And next time I decide to dirty it up and make truffles, I really need to reconsider. It was a bit more time consuming than expected.

Naturally, I took pics of the event. I used this truffle recipe from the Food Network Magazine.

It calls for all bittersweet chocolate, but the only bittersweet at Trader Joe's had almonds in it, and that wasn't going to work. So I got 2 milks and 3 dark chocolate bars, and I was going to mix the two together....then I had an epiphany milk chocolate centers, and dark chocolate coating.

Here's the chocolate (duh)

I did a shaving chop sort of thing with it, to get it ready for the melting.

When I was done with that, I heated just over 2C heavy cream to a scant heat. That means its hot, but not boiling.

I also needed 1/4 cup rum (I always use Strohs, it's hardcore), and 1/4 cup butter (REAL BUTTER)

Once the cream was hot enough, I dumped in a handful of chocolate, and whisked.

And I added the rum.

Then I dumped it all in my bowl with the rest of the chocolate. The recipe said to use a blender to make it smooth and pretty. So, that's what I did.

And I added the butter, and kept blending.

When it was all smooth and happy, I poured it into a lined (with plastic and wax paper...don't do the wax paper, I thought it would help and it didn't) sheet pan. Please forgive the blurry picture.

I let it cool overnight. on the counter, and then I plopped it in the fridge while I worked. I used my 1TBL scoop that I used for cookies for scooping the ganache. I like to keep things similar sizes.

I scooped and scooped and scooped. And before I rolled them, I put them in the fridge to harden.

Since I was going to give these as gift, I wanted to make sure I had enough, and the 1TBL scoop gave me over 200, and frankly after 150, I stopped counting. Look at my chocolate balls...don't you want to put them in your mouth and suck 'em??????

I kept these bad boys in the fridge until I was ready for coating. Which I had to do at my parents, because I'm house/dog sitting while they are cruising.

Chocolate I'm going to use for coating:

Chopping it up....

And I had to do a double boiler method to melt. There was too much chocolate for one bowl, so I had to divy it up. Once it was all melted it fit into one.

While that was melting I got my coating ready. I used coco powder, mixed sweetened and unsweetened coconut, almonds, and hazelnuts.

I dipped my cold chocolate balls in the melted chocolate (which I did not take a picture of, sorry), and then coated them in the various goodies. Once coated, I put them in a pretty little white paper cup.

And here's my finished product.

After 120 truffles, I started to double up on the centers, because it was taking FOREVER....I mean like HOURS, to make the 120, and I had what I needed for gifts, I just wanted a couple extra for myself. After doubling up, I still had 80 truffles for just me. Sweet Jesus. Next time, make bigger gooey centers, or cut the recipe in half.

I couldn't eat one until a couple of days after. And let me tell you, it was TASTY!!!! That rum, it's magical. I was hesitant, because I gave some to Hitler and she was all hacky with the one she ate, so I thought maybe it was bad. No, Hitler's just being a bitch. I forget it's what she does best.

I also maybe a little love/hate CD for my Valentines too.

Love, Bitter and Sweet II: To Have and to Let Go
Al Green: Here I Am
Donovan Frankenreiter: Bend in the Road
Ben's Brother: Kiss Me Stuttering
Airborne Toxic Event: Sometime Around Midnight
Melody Gardot: Our Love is Easy
Bright Eyes: Lover I Don't Have to Love
Forest Sun: Come By Me
Swell Season: Low Rising
Band of Horses: No One's Gonna Love you
Paolo Nutini: Last Request
Ray LaMontagne: Let it be Me
Brett Dennen: Ain't Gonna Lose You
Van Morrison: I'll be Your Lover Too
Wilco/Feist: You and I
Weepies: Love Doesn't Last
Jose Gonzales: Heart Beats
Mason Jennings: Your New Man

And yes there is a Bitter/Sweet I, that I made a couple of years ago.

And no, I'm not a Valentines Day crazy person. I don't love it, I don't hate it. Not because I never do anything or ever had a 'real' Valentine, and I'm one of those bitter single types. I think the whole thing is bullshit. Why designate one day that you are supposed to say "I love you...I really, really love you"? It's the hype, that's what I have a problem with.

So there it is, my life over the last couple of weeks...new appliances, making truffles, not leaving the house, and house/dog sitting for my parents. Be jealous people, be jealous.

Rock out, with gooey chocolate balls....mmmmmmmmmm

Teeth

A while back, probably about a year ago, Tuschka told me about this movie Teeth. She said she thought it would be up my alley. A girl with vagina dentata…or in ‘normal speak’, she’s got teeth in her vagina.

There’s a whole bunch of myths regarding the toothy who-ha. You can read a little here.

So, I rented Teeth. HOLY COW!!! I knew it was going to be different, but in some ways, it blew past my expectations.

**I’m going to spoil the movie, so if you have any desire to see this movie, and don’t want to have any forewarning, then don’t read this.**

The movie begins with two kids in a blow up kiddy pool, the parents are in lawn chairs, all lovey-dovey. The boy, Brad, is splashing his step sister, Dawn. Dad yells at Brad to stop splashing, Brad tells his Dad off, but stops. Then you see him looking at Dawn and he says “I’m showing you mine, now you show me yours”. They pan back to the parents, and you hear a scream and Brad holds up a bloody finger, with the tip nearly bitten off.

Fast forward 10 years, and Dawn is now a part of an abstinence group. She gives speeches and encourages others to stay pure until marriage, and is the abstinence teen queen. Her two dating BFF’s are in the group, and at a meeting, she spies a cute guy, Toby, and he’s new to school. Toby and Dawn start hanging out, and Dawn really likes Toby, and even has some impure thoughts about him (GASP!).

Eventually Dawn and Toby go to this little pond to swim….there’s some kissy face stuff going on, Toby does a little touchy-feely with the boobs. Dawn pushes him away and reminds about purity, blah, blah, blah. She swims to a little covered cave like area, and climbs up onto the cave floor out of the water. Toby comes up to…eventually they are kissy face again. She stops him and says that they should go home. Before they get back in the water, Toby kisses her again, gets a little touchy feely with the boobs again. Dawn struggles, but gets pinned underneath him. He is primed for raping her, and once he gets in her, he starts screaming, and she’s screaming some more. Toby sits up and you see all this blood and a severed stump where his penis should be….and about 2 feet away from him is a couple inches if his penis. YELLING SCREAMING…SCREAMING YELLING… Toby tells Dawn to stay away from him and jumps back into the lake. Dawn is just sitting there dazed, confused, traumatized.

Toby is MIA from school, and Dawn is questioning if she can stay in the abstinence group because of the attack. She goes back to the pond, and in the cave she sees the bloody penis stump and a crab is crawling all over it. She runs home again. While she’s walking one of the guys from school, who gives the impression of being a quiet grungy type, offers to give her a ride home. He asks her out, and gives her his card. She made a comment about that being funny, and gets out of the car.

She thinks something is wrong with her ‘down there’ and searches on the internet about what could be wrong with her. She reads about vagina dentata, and looks mortified. She goes to see a gynecologist. The doctor asks her some prelim questions, and starts the examination. You see him slide off his gloves as he starts the internal exam. Dawn begins to struggle, saying that is hurts, the doctor makes some chestery comments. Then he starts SCREAMING and Dawn starts SCREAMING. Dawn is moving about on the table and the doctor is literally attached to her. More yelling and screaming ensues. Eventually they are free of each other, and the doctor is holding up his fingerless hand, and there are four severed fingers on the floor. Dawn grabs her clothes and runs out of the office.

She’s back at the lake, and you see a search team in the water. They pull up Toby’s body. Dawn flees from the lake. She gets home, wanting to confess to her mom about the rape and her being a murderer, but mom is passed out on the floor (she’s been sick/dying). Behind mom, down the hall, with his door open you see Brad having sex with his girlfriend (Brad makes other appearances and is a general pig, telling Dawn that he know she wants to have sex with him and whatnot). Dawn calls 911, and she wakes up in the hospital, and her step dad tells her to go home and rest.

Dawn is hysterical, still feeling like a murderer, she goes to the quiet grungy guys’ house. She tells him about the vagina dentata, and that she needs to go to the police and confess. He calms her down, a bit, tells her to take a bath. He gives her some mellow pills, that she willingly takes. She comes out of the tub all hazy and tells him that they have to go to the police….he tells her to lay down, and that she’s in no shape to talk to the police. They get a little frisky, and she tells him to not have sex with her because of the teeth, and that she needs a hero, a conqueror, the QGG tells her he is her hero and conqueror. They have sex, she enjoys, and he still has his penis. Later she gets dressed and says she has to go to the police now, he pulls out his little finger vibrator, and they start to have sex again. QGG’s cell rings, and he answers, Dawn looks a little put off, and he tells her to say hi to the friend on the phone. He tells her that there was a bet that he couldn't’t bed her, Dawn gets mad…and CHOMP…there goes QGG’s penis. Queue the squirting blood from the crotch and severed penis.

Dawn goes to the hospital, and you find out that the mom has died. Brad’s girlfriend is at the hospital, and apologizes for not calling for help, and that Brad said the mom does that all the time and not to worry about it. Dawn goes home, gussies herself up, and approaches Brad. He tells her, that he has been waiting for this for a long time, and that he is going to rock her world. They start having sex, and Dawn is looking at him, somewhat unresponsive…and you see Brad shaking. He gets off of her, and you see the bloody mess. She gets out of bed…and you see her standing there….and then DROP!! Falls out Brad’s pierced penis from her vagina. Brad’s dog then takes the penis and chews on it a bit.

Dawn leaves the house. And you see her hitch hiking. A car pulls over, picks her up. Time elapses, and it’s now night, and the car pulls into a gas station. Dawn tries to get out of the car, but the old, old, old man that picked her up starts to wag his tongue at her. She looks panicked at first, then she calm. She looks in to the camera with a smirk.

THE END.

Um…..WOW!!

I figured there’d be some penis hankering going down, but was not expecting the visuals…seeing that most movies don’t really show the penis. (Let’s face it…women can show themselves in all their glory, but one little penis, hell even seeing a guys pubic hair, and everyone is all “Ohhhhhh a penis!!!”) I figured if there was any hungry hungry hippo action going on, there’s be screaming and crotch grabbing with blood there. But the seeing the severed stumps…that was not expected at all. And the doctor with the lost digits…that scene was actually funny…along with Brad’s Prince Alberted penis falling out of Dawn’s crotch, the dog chewing on it was just icing on the cake.

This movie would be fabulous for the man hater, or for an upcoming anti-Valentine's Day event.

Watch it. Grab a bowl of popcorn and embrace the weird, the bizarre, and your penis (if you have one).

Rock out, with teeth.

Peanut Butter Pudding Surprise

The other night, the last song I hear before crashing (I'm one of those need music to fall asleep people, the calmer the music the better), was My Morning Jacket's Highly Suspicious.

For the most part MMJ is mellow-ish, this song doesn't really fit the feel for the Evil Urges album, and when I first heard it, I was all "W-T-F???". I LOVED IT!! For some reason it made me think of Labyrinth and the head throwers.

Anyways, back to the point.

I drifted off to Highly Suspicious, and then proceeded to have a bizarre dream. SURPRISE!! (Sometimes, I'm really amazed at how my environment easily influences my dreams).

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding with like 7 other bridesmaids standing up, and it was in a big fancy church. I didn't know the bride well, like she was a sister of a friend or something, but I was asked to stand up because she was have bridal party issues and what not and knew that I would pull in the reigns and make sure everything would be in order. Like a mini Hitler (HI HITLER!!!!). The bride's brother was causing a ruckus because he didn't like the groom, and was trying to 'break in to' the bridal suite to convince the bride she was making a big mistake. I went out to talk to him, and I was being towered over by not one brother, but three, and they were all MASSIVE. I got into a yelling match with them about supporting their sister, doing the right thing, don't be assholes, etc. I was all feisty and uber bitch, and I liked it. The guys eventually retreated. I looked around in the church and it was filling up, and I was thinking that even though I didn't know anyone, I was going to have a fun time at this wedding. As I was walking back to get to the bridal suite, I looked down the aisle at the stained glass door. The door opened, and this dark gray floating thing rushed in with a gust of wind, and blew right through me. When I looked around at to see if anyone else saw it, I noticed that some people weren't looking normal anymore. And I saw the groom, half his face was decayed off. Nice. I hall ass into the bridal suite. The other bridesmaids are looking stunned, the bride is hysterical. I asked what the hell had happened, and the bride said that she was so desperate to get married that she performed and incantation to create her dream spouse. Little did she know it was going to be dead people that would come back to life. She felt guilty and decided to put it right and said another incantation. Hence the gust of wind and the gray stuff....it was some spirity stuff.

I don't know what happened after that because I woke up, and was all WTF?!?!?!?! I'm blaming it on the song, and that crazy maniacal laughter. That part is really not kosher, and is nightmare worth all on it's own. But the rest of the song, and it's odd lyrics I like. I just have to try to not fall asleep to it again.

Rock out, incanting.

Things just got immensely better.

It's been a while, I know. I've been just feeling rather blah lately, and a little on the grumpy gus side of things. Work has been a little crazy, leaving me last week feeling like a total idiot and incompetent of anything. I hate the training processes and not knowing things and being confident. Then there was my dad's birthday where he really aggravated me with his whole attention seeker behaviors, one of his many things I can't stand about him (and his mother has it too...whom I also can't stand. And people say my father and I don't get along because we are too alike. If I turn out like him or his mother, then I'm going to kill myself....and that sounds like Oma!!). I think the post holiday mood was just exceptionally brutal.

Plus there was really now excitement going on here. Working from home is a killer when you have no interactions with coworkers like KIA or Tourettes. However I heard through the grapevine that KIA has a new purple sweater that she wore 2 or 3 times in one week. I only wish I could have been there to witness it. That's still some great shit. Disgusting, but great.

This week was another drab week. Better on the work side, but no real excitement. Unless you count my baking cookies yesterday as a highlight. Pro about working from home, I can bake during the day. Con about working from home, I can't take it into the office and share. What am I going to do with 5 dozen cookies?? Possibly eat them all by myself.

Something else exciting for this week. I decided to join 2005 and sign up for the Blockbuster to have must seen movies come to my home,since I don't like to actually go out and get movies to rent. First movie, you ask, that I got and viewed??? How to Be. Movie was a little weird, and I like weird/quirky films...but this was kinda flat weird. I think the perks are in the preview, but when you see the whole thing, not as good as I was hoping. Mr. Pattinson was a pleasure of course. How could he not be?? Next up on the Blockbuster list- Blood Ties. Apparently Lifetime (Television for Women) had a vampy TV series out that I didn't know about. I have 2 seasons to catch up on. And the big vampy dude is rather easy on the eyes.

Then I saw something today that made all the drab and blah feelings melt away. Finally a little light on the horizon of poop.....

Guess what's being released on March 20th?????

Now my dilemma. Do I pre-order from the crack dealer and hope that I get the movie early like last year? (It's not available for pre-order yet though) Or do I go to the store that has a 3 disc option?? If there is one? Luckily I have time.

Ahhh....I think today is going to be a good day.

Rock out, new moon.

Hitler's Birthday!

Today marks the glorious day of Hitler's birth. Bitch tried to say that she's turning 22 today!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She may look all happy and nice in the picture, but pictures are deceiving. This is still the same person that poured nail polish remover in my eye when I was a toddler....the same person that chucked a frozen ashtray at my head, impaling me (I still have the scar)...the same person that said I would die when I had surgery...the same person that became belligerent when I finished the orange while she was sleepy and didn't save any for her...the same person who performed a vomit sprinkler through her jacket and then got pissed when I washed it for her, not knowing it was dry clean only...this is the same person that said I couldn't put the Christmas tree together, which then lead me to a bout of pyromania, setting a garbage can on fire, that burned my toes and fingers (I still have scars)...this is the same person who I punched in the eye, when she cheated me on a shot gun ride to Oma's house.

Happy 33, Hitler!!!

Rock out with your birthday cock out!!!!

Ringing in the New Year

I don’t know about you, but my New Year totally ROCKED!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I was perfectly content in staying home (alone) and finishing Pride and Prejudice. I don’t make resolutions, but this time I made and Year End Resolution…FINISH P&P!!! Which didn’t happen…SURPRISE! Instead on NYE, I got a call from dad, he didn’t like that I was a home alone for the evening and wanted me to come to over. He and mom were making finger foods for dinner, and he was acting like it was some sort of novel concept, finger foods….for dinner!! OMG!! So , I said I’d come over. Mom was in bed by 9, dad crashed on the couch (watching the Barrett Jackson auction) by 930…HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I’m glad I didn’t stay home, I would have missed some high end excitement. By 10, and reading P&P for 30 minutes, I was ready for bed. I texted the college peeps with a happy new year and my early retirement. Got some gruff back.

Life sucks when you are old and boring.

But that's not even my most pathetic New Year's of my adult life. The second New Year's in AZ, Hitler and I were cohabitating in our apartment, we both worked during the day, just went out to dinner, and came home to ring in 2003...we both had fallen asleep watching TV. I remember waking up around 1230/1ish and saying "Hitler, Happy New Year, I'm going to bed". She was all "but it's not midnight yet". I had to tell her we had been sleeping for the last 2 hours or so, missed midnight, Happy New Year and good night. Stellar, stellar New Years.

New year’s day was another load of excitement. Ava’s parents had a brunch thing at their place. Bobo decided to be monkey boy and climb their orange tree for some harvesting.

Little Boo wanted to help a bit too.

After lunch Hitler and I went to Ikea. I haven’t been in YEARS and had this hankering to go. At Ikea, there’s always an interesting mix of people. As we walked by this one couple, the wife was doused in some heavy and stinky perfume. I was deep in thought about the stink, when Hitler asked me a question…I replied with “I know I can smell it!” To which Hitler said “YOU CAN SMELL HER BOOBS????” Wait, what??? I said not boobs, perfume!!! Then I looked at the smelly lady…she was rail skinny, walking hunched over her cart, and she had the Tori Spelling type boob job and some bad bleach blonde with black roots Tina Turner hair (which really only looks good on Tina). I start to sing "she works hard for the money" (ala Agador). Hitler's said "It's Tina hair, not Donna Sommer!!" (First, let me just say how impressed I was that she knew I was singing Donna Sommer, especially after hearing she wanted Rump Shaker for her new MP3 player but had to pay the 99cents for it on Rhapsody and decided against it.) I said, I that I was thinking she looked kinda like a cheap hooker, hence the singing, which I had stuck in my head for a very, very long time. And as Murphy's Law mandates, we bumped into Tori/Tina/Cheap Ho a million times, around every corner. Every time I saw her, I started singing. On the drive home, Hitler kept laughing and saying "YOU CAN SMELL HER BOOBS!!!!!!!"

Sisterly joys.

Rock out, cock out.