Ahhhh the Oma. Glorious things tend to occur when I'm with her. Whether it be racial comments, or the fact that I haven't created any self inflicted wounds, or the misuse of words.
Oma likes to mispronounce things. You can tell it's intentional because she's say the word three times. She thinks it's funny and cute, when, really, its annoying as all hell. Sometimes the mispronounce is actually legit. Case in point, the word humping.
My uncle was walking all stiff, and I asked what was wrong. Oma says he's done nothing buy hump for the last three days, he's humping everywhere in the house, he's stiff and he humps. My uncle I just look at each other for a moment, he says he thinks he has heel spurs.
When Oma and I leave the house for the the Saturday romp, she's still talking about the humping and that my uncle should go to the doctor to see what can be done to stop the humping. I told her nicely that the word she wants to use is 'limping' and that humping means something entirely different. (At that moment, I'm praying that she doesn't ask me what). She told me that I was wrong, the word is hump. He humps around the house. I asked if she means 'hobbles" and that he's hobbling around the house. In which hobble/limping would still be better words to use and not humping.
Oma gives me a mean little sideways glance and says "I don't know!! You know English is not my first language, I didn't start learning it until 1952 or 1953!!"
Apparently I hit a nerve.
I guess speaking the language primarily for the last 50 years doesn't mean anything to vocabulary.
After that she changed the topic to politics, her hatred for China and the stupid drunk redneck (aka Georger W), and how she feels bad for the black guy (aka Obama).
Rock out, humping.
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