Perpetuating the Obsession

Skank and I went to see Twilight again last night. It was nice to see it from a normal seat, and there was a lack of teen screams. Let me tell you thought- Edward is still hot...and had me thinking impure thoughts with every intense stare he gave out. One of my friends said I should see it at the Imax theater- I said that would be like wrap around porn.



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And with all my excitement out of my system, so I could really watch and take in the movie...it's high on the cheese...very high...but I like cheese, so I'm fine with that. Parts seem a little stiff and mellow dramatic, but I can easily get over that. I still love it. I think I really love the Edward and all the Edward close ups...



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I still need to see it with the Hitler and mom- I'm kinda hoping that their schedules will not match up for movie availability and I can then see it 2 more times with a legitimate excuse and not because I'm a stupid, obsessed woman, in love with a fictional character intended to entertain young teens.

YUM....

Oma, and I quote...

I've been spending the week with Oma. She always makes very interesting statements, and I thought I'd share....


1. I'm reading such a nice story. This girl gets raped by a farm boy........

2. (while watching the AMA's) This is why women get raped. Look at the whores and how they are dressed.

3. (the AMA's again) Such a schreierie, I feel sorry for the world today.

4. Kami (the dog) that schwanz of yours is going to kill me.

5. (while watching DWTS, and talking about Warren Sapp) He's like a big black teddy bear. I could just squeeze him.

6. (DWTS again) That old guy doesn't like my teddy bear, why is he so mean?

7. (Watching Wheel of Fortune) Pat Sajak doesn't like it when people win on the show. Look at his face. You'd think he was giving away his own money. He's happy when they lose.

8. L, will you please open another bottle of merlot (pronounced MER-lot, not MER-low)

9. L, will you please open a bottle of zinfandel (pronounced zin-FAHN-doll....and yes we like our wine)

10. (at dinner) L, you are too big. You need to exercise. Here, have more potatoes.

11. Kami, stop hitting me with your schwanz.

12. I'm not ready for the holiday. I was hoping I would have died already.

13. The week is over and I'm still not dead yet. (we've been waiting to die since I was 15, and at the rate she's going, she's going to outlive my 15 month old nephew)

14. I won't do a direct quote, but let me tell you, I've known more about this woman's poop for the last 20 years then I have ever known about my own. This week has been filled with lots of poop talk. Yippee Skippy.

15. I was watching the Regis Philbis show...... (and she means Philbin)

16. He's new wife is so nice, and she's Jewish too. But a nice Jew.


Stay tuned Folks, it's only Wednesday and I'm here until Saturday. I love her, but sometimes I think I need a Xanax.

In Bed....

Had Chinese... my fortune is FABULOUS....

You are always welcome in any gathering. Host a party this month.

Looks like I might busy.

**11-29-08 Okay- so it looks like I've been having a party in bed since this post....me, 3 dogs and 1 bed. Not quiet the party I was intending on having...and my personal poochie boy doesn't like having to share me. He tried to take on Kami- who's 120lbs...

An unhealthy obsession

Seriously.....

It's not natural, it's unhealthy, it's insane... I can't stop thinking about him. It makes me question "Am I 29 or 12??". Right now I'm leaning towards 12. Since seeing the movie- he's all I think about. It's bad.

I don't know if I should kiss or curse Stephenie Meyer for creating such a character.

I need help....

Seriously

PW Potluck Dinner Night

So some of the girlies and myself love, love, love The Pioneer Woman. And we decided to have a PW inspired dinner party. There was too much food for 3 people but it was OH SO GOOD.....

Menu:

Turnips Gratin (never had a turnip, but these really tasted like potatoes gratin, so if you have a picky eater, and don't tell them it's turnips, they'd never know)
Crashed Hot Potatoes (on left) and Spicy Chicken Legs (right)

Bacon Wrapped Green Beans (bottom left) Enchiladas (Center) and Fresh Corn Casserole (right)

The whole spread.....

There was also dessert- which I fail to take a picture of (not that you are missing much given the classy photo ability I have shown here). I made Yogurt Cream and Berries- it's the simplest thing ever, super light and perfect after a big meal. Also not shown the bottles of wine consumed and the antacids I needed to relieve the indigestion I was suffering.

If you like to cook, like to laugh, or like photography check out PW.... you won't be sorry.

Peace out-

Perverts Are Universal.

A couple of weeks ago I had this lovely conversation with my grandmother, Oma… She was complaining about a book she was reading written by some Irish author. Let me preface by saying that Oma enjoys books by the English/Irish that take place prior to 1900’s (in fact the older the better) with dukes, earls, knights, lords, blah, blah, blah. And there can’t be any smut in these books- the only thing permissible is where the main character is raped, and then runs away from her life of privilege only to be saved by a duke, earl, knight, lord, blah, blah, blah, in the end. In Oma’s mind- sex for love BAD, rape and be saved by duke, earl, knight, lord, blah, blah, blah GOOD.

Anyways…

So she’s reading this book that is in the 1800’s somewhere in England….and the main character is rather promiscuous and has many encounters with men in pubs. Oma had a hard time believing that an Irish writer could write something so dirty. Not just any writer but and IRISH WRITER.

I tried to explain to her that perverts are universal. They can be anywhere. They can come from the UK, here, Africa, Antarctica…anywhere. But apparently Oma hold’s the Irish/British in high regards and kept going on about what a shame it was that an Irish author was so foul and dirty.

To try and reiterate the Universal Pervert Concept, I asked her what her initial thoughts are of priests (Oma’s very catholic and prays for us all nightly, and also watches mass on tv at least 2 times a day)…. Before she could answer I said “my first thoughts go to child molesters…but that’s just me.” That gave me the look of death. I don’t think she got the point.

Now, I know that not all Priests are child molesters…but what’s reported in the news doesn’t really help their cause either.

So remember:

1) Sex for love is BAD
2) Getting raped to then be saved by a duke, earl, knight, lord, blah, blah, blah is GOOD
3) And perverts are universal.

Rock out
Cock out-

Guess what I was doing at midnight???

Yep- I was one of the insane waiting for the movie. Bought the tickets last week- got to the theater at 8- and was just as excited as the stupid teenage girls screaming behind me. OMG- it was sooooo good!!

Now, I'm an Edward girl, personally, and reading him on paper (over and over and over again) was beyond divine. There is just something about this character that makes me swoon. Now seeing him in the flesh and the way he was portrayed by Robert Pattinson- I'm now lusting over Edward. Hats off to Rob- he did a fabulous job!!!

Well- I'm going to go and continue reading Twilight some more.... Last night got me all worked up and hot and bothered for it again!!!

GO TEAM EDWARD!!!!!!

MMMMMMM....... Apple Butter

My inner Martha was screaming at me, and I had a crazy notion in my head that I wanted to make apple butter and can it. I’ve never buttered the apple or canned anything- but how hard could it be. So I looked up a couple recipes, made some samples and tweaked the butter to my preference, consulted the Skank who just started canning and my mom (a former canner)….Let me tell you, it’s not hard or nearly as daunting as I thought it was going to be.

Skank found out about this farmers co-op thing where you can get yummy fruits and veggies for cheap. We split a bushel of apples to do the butter, some sauce, and then some slices. The butter was my MO, anything else was a bonus. And kiddies let me tell you a bushel of apples- incase you don’t know is 38 POUNDS- that a lot of fucking apples.

So let’s start with the little slide show of the apple butter making process…

Apples, lots and lots and lots of apples…

I invested in a peeler/slicer/corer… it was the best $20 I could have ever spent- seriously, it saved so much time. Even if this is the only time I use it, it was worth it.

There’s my apple on the peeler…

Cranked the handle- it’s going to meet it’s destiny soon…

Getting closer…

Oh we are peeling!

And now we are slicing...

Almost done slicing....

POOF! It’s done…like magic!

The core

Quartered the apple after it’s been peeled, sliced, and cored.

Dropped it in the pot.
Added sugar, cinnamon, fresh nutmeg, clove.

There’s my sous chef with the devil eyes.

C’mon baby…stir it up.

Look at that juicy goodness...

Looks ready to be blended.

Same picture, just less steam.

Grab your trusty immersion blender and make it as smooth or as chunky as you like, I prefer mine like velvet.

The butter is the small jar front and center, to the left is straight up sauce, and the right is some slices blanched in a simple syrup w/ some cinnamon.

It’s so, so, so good. Martha quieted down a bit since the big old night of buttering.

The Recipe:

Apple Butter

5lbs of tart apples, peeled and chopped
1C sugar
1tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp Clove
¼ tsp nutmeg

Put all in one pot on medium heat. Check/stir at least every 15 minutes, if it really starts to bubble, knock down the temp. Around the 45 minute mark, the apples will be a darker brown and almost looking translucent. The whole cook time is about an hour. Blend it up, and put in jars. This yields about 7 ½ pint jars. To seal the jars, place in the boiling water for about 10 minutes.

A little side note- the bushel of apples where Honey Crisps they weren’t super tart, but still tasty. I’ve used fujis and grannies with previous batches- it’s all yummy. A lot of recipes used 4 cups of sugar for the 5 pounds of apples- which is entirely too much for me, and gave me a total different consistency- almost jam like instead of butter like. And I just eyeball the spices, don’t really measure anything out. Also- after everything is blended, put a little spoonful on a plate, if liquid pools on the outside, it might need a little more stove top time.

It's yummy, it's good... you should try to make it at home.

Or if you are lucky to work with me, you can buy when at the craft fair that's going to be at work on Dec. 5th.

C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R!!

WTF?

Seriously.....

So I get in my car this afternoon- where it's 95* and on the radio- WHITE CHRISTMAS!!!!

It's November 1st.....it's Ninety-fucking-five degress....and fucking Christmas music is playing!!