Seriously, I should do stand up.

I know, it's been forever again. But we are going to pretend that is hasn't been. It's easier that way.

Tuschka and I were chatting books the other day. Amazon's been like one giant freebie lately with some of the books. I love me some books, I love me some books that are free even more. Even if the book sucks, it's still not bad because it's FREE. There seems to be themes to the free books. We snatched up a bunch of dirty smutty books a while back. And then there were some period pieces- like 1800's or so. Now there's a bunch of Jesus books.

I downloaded a couple of "Christian" lit books, unbeknownst to me that they were all "Lordy Jesus". The first one I read- The Apothecary's Daughter- actually wasn't all that bad. I thought for sure my eyes were going to burn out of my head for partaking in a Jesus book, but it didn't get all God-y until the end when the main character was praying for the health of loved ones and for help in a bad situation. I can deal with that.

After reading Jesus book #1, I had to insure my position in the hand basket, and read some 2 (soon to be 3) book series about a psychic/time rewinder, and then a weird ass, yet stupid, paranormal smut book with a fabulous title: The Ghost Shrink, the Accidental Gigolo, and the Poltergeist Accountant.

Now I'm reading Jesus book #2, A Bride Most Begrudging. Set in colonial America with a fiesty daughter of an Earl and a stubborn tobacco farmer. Now with all there stubbornness and head butting, this would make for great smut. Cold, crass, colonial sex. But since the Lord is involved, it's not going to happen. AND it's not considered "Christian Lit" it's "Inspirational Lit". This is book is very into the Praise Jesus; Lord, God Above; Sweet heavenly Father. I'm going to die.

Yesterday I was giving Tuschka the low down on the new Lordy Jesus. At that point in time it wasn't so bad....then I read a bit more and we were quoting actual scripture. Holy hell. I text Tuschka asap.

Me: they just quoted the bible- complete with scripture. Psalms 9:16
Tuschka: Yikes!
M: Word. If it gets much worse, I might not finish.
T: Poor L!!!!
M: word...........tis a sad sad day. L 11:5
T: hahahahaha.

Now tell me- is that not funny?? Seriously- that is some funny stuff. I kill me. It's like my Mary Magdalene. I'm a genius with the religious joke. I need to do a routine all around that.

Oma would be so proud.

Incase you're curious, there's more bible quoting and reading and commenting of all things Jesus and God. I would quit, but now I'm almost done. Might as well just suck it up and just finish it.

Rock out, with your bible.