Jimmy Smits

I went to a small private college in the Chicago burbs just less than an hour from home. I lived on campus, and met a core group of 4 friends (**Tuschka, ATTW1 <“And then there was one….” Whenever this annoy kid saw ATTW1- he always announced him as such, and the nickname kinda stuck>, Bob, Ms. M aka my BFF, a few more cast of characters joined, but that was the core) that became my new family nucleus for the next four years. One of the best stories that we still laugh about happened freshman year the Wednesday before thanksgiving.

Tuschka, ATTW1, and I were hanging out in ATTW1’s room watching TV or something, and I was waiting for my dad to call to say he was here to pick me up. He called, I left, and when I got home, I started to unpack things. I turned on the TV for background noise. NYPD Blue was on. Now let me preface by saying that I have never seen an episode of NYPD Blue, I knew about the premise of the show, but it was not something that blipped on my 18 year old radar. It was the episode where Jimmy Smits character dies on the show.

OH.
MY.
GOD.

I was hysterical. Uncontrollable sobs. I was a mess. People coming into the hospital room to say goodbye to him before they pull the plug, and mean while Jimmy is in limbo between life and death. Oy- I get a little verklempt just thinking about it. Then Dennis Franz is up…and I’m one step away from a breakdown… he does his goodbye, the plug is pulled and you see Jimmy in heaven with his son.

OH.
MY.
GOD.

Now I’m certifiable- I can’t breathe, I can’t stop the choking sobs, and I’m falling apart. My rational thought process is to find Tuschka, and share my grief. I called her room- no answer. I prayed she was still in ATTW1’s room.

ATTW1: Hello
Me: Hey it’s me, is Tuschka there?
ATTW1: Is everything okay?
Me: Kinda, I need Tuschka…
ATTW1: Uh-it’s L, for you, I think something’s wrong.
(a little aside- boys- soo dumb sometimes...someone's on the phone crying and they 'think' somethings wrong???? HELLO!!!!)
Tuschka: OMG what’s wrong???
Me: Tuschka- JIMMY SMITS JUST DIED!!! (sob, sob, sob)
Tuschka: What???
Me: I was watching NYPD Blue and Jimmy Smits just died, and it was so sad… and everyone is at the hospital to say goodbye before they pull the plug… and then when they do he’s in heaven WITH HIS DEAD SON!!!! It’s soooo sad!!! I can’t stop crying!!! (sob, sob, sob)
Tuschka: You watch NYPD Blue??
Me: No- it was just on and I started watching….and he dies!! (sob, sob)
Tuschka to AATW1: It’s okay, L was just crying about NYPD Blue…
Tuschka to me: Are you going to be okay??
Me: Yeah, I just needed to tell someone, and I knew you’d understand. But, really…it’s really, really sad.

Monday at school, it was the big joke at lunch. Everyone was laughing at me. But I’m strong and I took it like a true woman. They just didn’t understand.

Then fast forward to 3 years post college, and I get a hysterical call from Tuschka.

Me: OMG, Tuschka, what’s wrong??
Tuschka: Um- I just saw an NYPD Blue re-run… Jimmy Smits just died. OMG, L, it’s really, really, horribly sad…. I can’t stop crying!
Me: I KNOW!!! Now you know my pain!!
Tuschka: God, this is awful. I finally understand the freshman year hysterics.

I have many more Jimmy Smits-esque moment…oddly enough Tuschka is involved with most of them…actually I think all of them…

That is a true ROWYCO moment.

**Nicknames have been created to protect the innocent

Dream interpretation needed

Sunday night I had a crazy, crazy dream. Imagine Transformers meets The Chronicles of Narnia... Are you confused, because I know I sure as hell was.



In the dream, I had 2 views... 1 watching everything that was going on, primarily being omnipotent (love big words) and 2 actually being an active participant. The dream starts of with it being all snowy and wintry, and I'm in my childhood home back in IL. I see myself playing with my dog, and from behind some snowy trees is a Transformer- he grabs the active participant me and my dog and says we have to hurry and that the battle in starting (in some other dimensional land, like Narnia). The omnipotent me is trying to get ready for work- I'm running late (like hours late) and I have the news on. I'm glued to the news as the post sudden breaking news of deaths and people going missing....everyone they are showing is fictional children characters.... flashing pictures of Mickey Mouse and Harry Potter (all I can currently remember, but there was like a list of 20 people/things)....I was in shock... I knew that we were losing the battle, and that in the few minutes that had passed were years in the other world. I felt a sonic boom- my entire being shook...and I knew that my dog was dead. And I went outside...sitting on the front step is a small box, with my dogs name, filled with ashes.

Then I woke with a start...confused about what time it was, day etc...my next thought was "where's the dog"....who was glued to my side sleeping. Then I couldn't fall back asleep because I was upset that he died in my dream, I did manage to fall back asleep though- just before the alarm went off....and then proceeded to oversleep by 30 minutes....and I was 15 minutes late to work.

All I could think of on Monday was: what the fuck was that dream about?????

Thanks to my pursuit of psychological studies I read a lot of dream interpretation books...but nothing I can think of will answer what the hell the hidden meaning behind that dream. Maybe I should consult my psychiatrist friend- and really she is a friend and I'm not a client....

I see crazy people

In a previous life, before my current job (actually 2 jobs ago), I worked as a case manager for the county mental health system. I spent over 80 grand on my education to make just over $12/hour to deal with crazy people who really didn't want my help. It was very fulfilling. It also made for great stories when I was asked "How was your day?". Case-management was high stress and fast paced...the fact that I lasted only 18 months made me an old timer...most people didn't make it 3. Sometimes I miss it, but then I come to my senses.

Last week, while driving into work (a route that takes me past the clinic I had worked at), I saw one of the clients that used to be on my caseload. He was outside the clinic building, having a heated conversation...WITH A POLITICAL POSTER... I had to laugh...it was wrong, but I had to. I told some friends and family about this, but they didn't quite get the magnitude of how funny it really was.

Schizophrenics can really brighten up your day.

Why ROWYCO??

I love the phrase "rock out with your cock out". Now I don't have a cock so I don't know how fun it would be to rock out with my cock out.... however the word "cock" is just fun to say.

Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock.

Are you smiling? I am. If not- say it out loud to yourself as fast as possible. Then you might laugh.