My A/C unit has been a little on the leaky since just before Labor Day. And I, being the procrastinator that I am, finally contacted my home warranty people about getting someone out to have it fixed. I was called yesterday around 1 by Mr. Fix-it saying that he was a couple of miles from my place and would I be home in the next 20 so he could stop by and fix it. I explained that I was at work- 35miles away- and that I’d leave early and be there by 3 and that’s the best I could do… And I got home literally at 3pm on the dot- Mr. Fix-It shows up at 4:15 (the time I would have been home, if I hadn’t left work early)…at least he called around 3:45 apologizing for being late and would be there soon.
When he got to my place- he was on the cute side and then proceeded to play 20 questions for the next hour and a half while fixing the leaky unit. (haha) Questions entailed: Why do you work in Phoenix? What do you do? How long have you been there? Do you like it? How long have you lived in your place? What are you crocheting? (I’m working on a baby blanket at the current moment) Oh, is it for your kid? Do you want kids? How long have you been crocheting? What’s the coolest thing you made? I have a buddy that just had a son, how much would it be to have you make a blanket? (I tell him he doesn’t have to pay, just buy the yarn and I’ll make one. Then there are some yarn questions that follow.) Oh- I like the music you have playing, what are you listening to? On and on with the questions.
I’m being the nice little hostess…answering all the questions accordingly….yelling at the pooch to stop barking. Then there’s talk about the A/C unit what might be wrong, if the problem continues, it could be a leak in the roof and not the unit, etc….There’s a lull in the questioning while Mr. Fix-it works on the unit. He cleans up his stuff and is ready for the payment…while the next round of questioning goes as follows:
On the counter is the check, all filled out and ready to go…
Mr. Fix-it: Oh, you have the check already to go
Me: Yep, I’m efficient like that.
(Really I’m thinking “anal” but you can’t just go saying “I’m anal” to random people they might take it the wrong way)
Mr. Fix-it: So, your place has 2 bedrooms?
Me: No, three. But one is set up as a craft/crap room and then 2 bedrooms
Mr. Fix-it: Do you live here alone?
(This is when bells should be going off, but they aren’t)
Me: Yep, just me and the killer dog.
Mr. Fix-it: Wow. So what do you do for fun?
Me: The usual boring stuff- movies, dinners out, hang with friends. Not really a big bar/club person. If I’m just home alone for the night- usually just crochet/craft and I read a lot.
Mr. Fix-it: Oh what do you like to read?
Me: Chick-lit girly books.
Mr. Fix it: What’s chick lit?
Me: Girly books, like romantic comedies. Chick flicks only in book format.
Mr. Fix-it: So things like “she could feel his gaze on her back as he entered the room, and she started to breathe heavily with excitement”
Me: Not smut books, just girly stories. And I read serious stuff too- like mysteries, ghosty stuff, whatever.
Mr. Fix-it: So, do you have a boyfriend?
(Now the bells are dinging away)
Me: (laughing) No, I’ve got a dog.
Mr. Fix-it: What’s so funny?
Me: Nothing (still giggling)
Mr. Fix-it: Do you want a boyfriend?
Me: (more laughing) No.
Mr. Fix-it: What’s so funny?
Me: Nothing- just a question that’s been asked lately by other people. Do I have, do I to have, why don’t I have. Anyways, I kinda like being alone.
Mr. Fix-it: You like being alone?
Me: Yep- I can do what I want, when I want. Don’t have to worry about anybody. I’ve gotten used to being alone, and I like it. Not to mention- the dog.
Mr. Fix-it: I can understand that.
Mr. Fix-it hands me the paperwork- gives me the lowdown and all that jazz, and gets ready to head out the door…
Mr. Fix-it: So you really don’t mind if I call you about making the blanket.
Me: Not at all
Mr. Fix-it: Great, and thanks. Sorry again about being late.
(We shake hands)
Me: Not a problem. Thanks for fixing my A/C. It was nice to meet you.
So later on in the evening, I’m chatting up with Ms. M and I recount the Mr. Fix-it encounter. She’s laughing…especially when I got to the efficient/anal part…hoping I’d say anal to gage the reaction. Then with the boyfriend part and my ‘no’ responses, I get a flabbergasted response from her… “What if he’s interested in you or knows someone who you might be good with? And you shot him down?? You should have said ‘maybe’ to the wanting a boyfriend part.” And Hitler called me too- and asked what was wrong w/ my A/C and I tell her what happened. The scary thing…her responses were almost verbatim the same thing Ms. M said to me. They both ended the conversion with “we can’t wait to see if he calls you back about the blanket.”
Maybe I should preface that I’ve never really been hit on. I’m not the ‘pursued’ type of person, and not society’s definition of ‘physical beauty’. I’m a big girl- not the I need to lose 10lbs to fit into a size 6….but maybe if I lose 150lbs I can fit into a 14 or 12 and shop at ‘normal’ stores. So guys- never look at me in any special way…. I don’t blip on their radars- I’m usually the blimp on the radar. There was only one other time when I was ‘possibly’ hit on, but I didn’t take it serious….and that’s another story for another time. So, I’m a little slow when it comes to picking up that sort of attention when it’s directed towards me. It never happens.
Anyways….
So when I got to work, Skank asked me how my night was. I told her and another coworker the story…there was laughter. I was told I needed to go to a Flirting 101 class, and that I was totally mean for shooting the guy down before he even had a chance…. I said “what can I say, I’m good at cock blocking” the other coworker said “yeah, but you cock blocked yourself!!” Skank chimes in “we need a Cock Block Shield 101 class with the Flirting 101.”
So yeah- that was my most bewildering night.
Peace out-
The Cock Blocker
No comments:
Post a Comment