I spread like a disease.

It’s a well known fact that I’m Twilight obsessed. I’ve spread my addiction like a disease. First to Tuschka (who then created her own outbreak), then Hitler, Mom, Skanky-Skank, CC, my coworker who’s yet to be nicknamed (I really need to get on that)…and they’ve all done their own spreading of the Twilight love. And finally the last person on my Twilight infection list- Ms. M.

Ms. M was refusing to read the books- all her fellow teachers were ga-ga for Twilight, and I’m so obsessed that I need an intervention. She thought I was slightly nuts for seeing it at the midnight show, and then proceeded to see it 6 more times in the theater. She said that she doesn’t read trendy and she’s not one for vampires. So I decided that I couldn’t take her not knowing the greatness of Twilight any longer and bought her the set for Christmas.

I was talking to her the other night about the books and where she was and what she was thinking so far. It took her about a month to read Twilight, a couple of days for New Moon, and she’s in the middle of Eclipse right now. We’ve had multiple conversations about how she better be Team Edward, or else I’d seriously have to re-evaluate the friendship. She came up with a neutral answer after Twilight, saying that she loves the love Bella has for Edward- even though he’s dangerous for her and could hurt her, she doesn’t care and loves him anyway. Blah, blah, blah. Which I understand, but, really, Edward's hot- regardless of the depth of Bella’s love. Anyway, this time when we were talking about it, she was telling me that all the sexual tension was starting to kill her. She needs someone to have sex.

Little digression- When I first picked up Twilight a mere 18 months ago, I had no idea the power it would have over me. I remember seeing it at my Borders doing a feature on local AZ authors and here’s this new little book about a high school girl falling for a vampire- and I didn’t want to get it then, but made a mental note for a later purchase. The mental note turned into a mental fart, because I forgot all about it (I did have the random thoughts of 'what was that book I wanted to read about young vampy love??'). Then when Eclipse came out, and I read how the book that knocked Harry Potter out of #1 on the seller’s chart, I was intrigued. Low and behold- it was that little book I saw 3 years earlier. I went out and got Twilight, thinking the book is 500pgs, I’m going to Weeny’s for a week (it was her BIG wedding, and I had MOH duties to fulfill prior to the BIG day), and since I was going to be busy 1 500pg book should be enough for the week (normally, pre-kindle, I would take 2-3 books minimum for any vacation). So I finished Twilight in 3 days, and told Weeny I needed to get to the book store ASAP to buy the other 2 books. And while I was reading Eclipse, the chaste sexual tension was building up, and I thought I was going to die… I was having breakfast with Tuschka one free morning at the peak of the tension, and I was telling her about this book and how it’s sooo hot and nothing sexually is going on, but it’s sooo hot, and I can’t take it anymore. Then said the famous line “I need them to fucking fuck already!” Which is what I say to anyone reading Twilight- especially Eclipse- it’s hot and you are going to be begging for some action, needing them to fucking fuck. As a little side note- it still took me 6 months to get Tuschka to read Twilight- she was going to barrow it from some friends, I got tired of waiting and bought the books and sent them to her.

Back to the story…

So, Ms M is feeling the sexual tension. I told her the “fucking fuck” story, again, because she has heard many, many times in my Twilight obsessed conversations with her. Now, she gets it. I ask her again if she’s leaning on the Team Edward side. She told me “I’m on the team who’s going to have sex first. I don’t care if it’s Edward of Jacob. That’s the team I’m on.”

HA!!!

Another one bites the dust.

Peace out, rock out, cock out.