Chatting with Meanie at work yesterday (only 2 weeks left...kinda sad), and she was talking about how she was psyching herself out while hiking the other night with her friend. Mr. Friend went off ahead of her, it was dark out, and she went to go to the other spot on the hike where he likes to go. She said is was by the canal, lots of bushes, and what not when she went after him...all she could think about was some one popping out behind the bushes and she'd die in the canal. She said "that's it, once I'm in the canal, I'm dead." So she was trying to stay calm externally while freaking out internally. We were both laughing... And did more irrational fear stories.
I have a lot of irrational fears. Too many. But it's one of my endearing qualities that makes me laugh, endlessly.
Example public restrooms. Now they are just germy and nasty and I don't like to use them. However, there's another fear besides the germs. IT. Now, I have mentioned IT before, briefly. It was the TV movie and book that gave the balls I never knew I had, seeing I had no tolerance for horror. But what does IT have to do with a fear of public restrooms?? Well in the story IT lives in the sewers and can come to the kiddies through the drain lines. There are scenes were he comes out of bathroom sinks and locker room showers. So reading this lovely gem at 12 was great. I had gym for 5 more years with a slight fear of being in the locker room alone if I had to use it during gym class. All thanks to a sadistic fucking clown lurking in the drains. This fear also made college a little difficult too, when my mind would wander while I was in the community bathroom, I'd freak myself out. Luckily, I only had 2 years of irrational fears, because the next 2 years were in a suite and the bathroom was private. Plus the other thing with public bathrooms- lots of scary movies have people getting killed in there, or attacked or something awful. Public bathrooms = germs, IT, monsters, and my minimal use.
Irrational fear #2: Clowns. Reasons: IT, Poltergeist, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, and John Wayne Gacy. 'Nuf said. I can kinda deal with the circus clown, I don't panic quite so quickly. But volunteer clowns- FUCK NO!!! Those are creepy ass mother fuckers. I went to clown days (it was a guilt trip and not willingly) at Rawhide (this cowboy place- loads of fun!! NOT!)...volunteer clowns all over the place. It was a living hell. The only thing that could have made it worse is if there were zombies there. And by the end of the hot, hot day, most looked disheveled and make up was dry and cracked. I was seriously waiting for a mass killing. Clowns gone rogue.
Third times a charm: Skylights. And my condo has 3...count them 3...skylights in my living room. I have seen movies were people climb up on the roof and spy on the homeowners through the skylights....then the bad guys break in and kill. There was a scene in Fear where Marky Mark and his crew launch their attack on Reese Witherspoon and fam to kidnap Reese. In one scene one of the bad guys is looking down on Reese and Alissa Milano and he's doing some solo entertainment while watching them. I also just saw this movie on HBO 5 days ago, I immediately looked up at my skylights, shivered, then changed the channel.
Some random irrational fears...
When I was little I was afraid that something under the bed would grab my legs an pull me under. So I slept Indian style, legs crossed and tucked, so they couldn't be grabbed. And this worked well for my until I watched Nightmare on Elm Street. I was probably about 7 or 8 (again, thanks mom and dad!!), and Hitler , who has had a love for all things horror from the very start of time, was watching this lovely movie. And Nightmare, Johnny Depp gets sucked into the bed by Freddie right in the middle. Now, nowhere was save for me in the bed... And I was also afraid of midnight for awhile too. If I woke up in the middle of the night for something, I would keep myself awake from 12 midnight to 12:30am, since that was prime Freddie time. This stayed with me for a long, long time. Then that was all shot to hell when I watched one of the sequels , and he was using the dreams of the main character's unborn baby. He didn't have to wait for midnight anymore to kill.
Then there's spider, snakes, open and public waters.
Open waters because of Jaws, seaweed, fish and jellyfish. The brown murky water in lakes...God knows what's in there. Oceans have things that will kill you. There was this short story called The Raft and bugged me too. Public waters- too many bodies (and bodily fluids) in one small space. Plus I won't go out in public in my swimsuit. That is to protect everyone else.
My fear of Jaws runs deep. I remember being babysat at my neighbors house with I was around the 5 year old mark, and sleeping in a water bed thinking that the water in the bed was some how attached to the ocean and Jaws was going to kill me while I slept. Also, when I've done cruises and see or hear about people doing the banana boat rides, I am internally screaming at them for being stupid, because Jaws soooo attacked one, and they could die.
Low hanging fog/mist. Thanks to the short story The Mist. A low deep fog starts to cover the town, things are in the fog that kills people...when people escape they realise that the fog is slowly covering EVERYTHING. Plus in scary movies, ghosts will come out in the fog and then attack you.
Before I moved to AZ, I was at an end of the summer bbq with people from my college German classes (we formed a nice little bond when in Berlin). I stayed a bit after everyone to talk with Alice Bei Nacht...and probably started to head home (about 45min-an hour away) around 1am. I had just gotten a new Enya CD (Paint the Sky with Stars) when the last song on the CD comes on, Boadicea. It was probably the worst self induced scares I have ever had...and the song isn't very long. It was used in the movie Sleepwalkers, sampled by the Fugees, and I always remembered it, thought it was creepy cool. So here I am driving down Algonquin Road, by the horse stables, lots of big trees...it's my favorite part of my drive when going home....and it's been drizzling off and on, a little misty...the song comes on. My over active imagination goes on overdrive... The soft melodic humming, the mist, I'm the only one on the road. I had just seen What Lies Beneath a few days prior with Tuschka... On my mind, I have vengeful ghost and were-cat vampy things... I think I see someone in my back seat when I look in the rear view mirror, I think I see someone lurking at me from the open horse farm to my right... It's misty, I'm delusional, and in full fledged panic mode. While the panic attack is in full swing, do I turn off the CD to hear something else?? NO!!! Do I stop and pull over to calm down?? NO!!! Something might get me. Instead I drive it out, the song ends, and I just think that was one of the scariest moments of my life, and have a slight adrenalin rush. What's my next move??? I play the song AGAIN to try and see if I can freak myself out again. Smart move...which doesn't fully work. When I listen to the song now, I laugh at myself and remember the fear. I think of what a colossal dork I am.
(While creating most of these links, I see that Stephen King helped solidify most of irrational fears. Hmmmmm....)
Meanie and I were talking about how we also want to stay in a haunted hotel...Just to see what happens. She wants her bed up against the wall, so she has a safety spot. I said I want a king size bed and 2 other people sleeping in it with me.....me in the middle, and my friends on my sides, that way the ghost can't get me from the sides, it would have to come straight down. For some reason that seems safer.
I'm probably going to have some bodacious dreams tonight, filled with clowns, zombies, fog, larger bodies of water, and some mean ghosts all while the hummy song plays in the background.
I should think of some happy thoughts.
Rock out, in horror.
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