Teabags and penetration, all in a days work...well, 2 days of work

It’s been an interesting start to the work week for me. To say the least. It’s been filled with statements and visuals that are just not good this perverted mind.

First: Teabaging- a whole new visual.
Tourettes (my annoying coworker, who really has the best intentions, but GOOD LORD she’s just annoying!! She’s prone weird verbal outbursts/sounds, will clean out her mouth and teeth while you talk to her, and pick her nose…) and I had to go over some new reports we are going share. She comes over to our fellow coworker’s desk to go over the how too’s… She comes over late and is carrying her typical cup of coffee. Only I notice it’s not coffee, it’s tea. And just as we start talking new reports, Tourettes jumps forward…I assume that she just spilled her hot beverage….we ask if she’s okay and she turns to me and the coworker with string hanging from her mouth. She’s sucking on the teabag and was going to cheek it to put it on a sore tooth. And she converses with us- cheeked teabag, dangly string and all. Since the mind is perverse, all I could think of is teabagging and tampons. Just not kosher.

Second: Penetration, deep penetration.
Had a lovely townhall meeting today at work. Talked about the financials of 2008- and the company going off-shore (I’ll know in 4-6 weeks how much longer I’ll have a job, woo-fucking-hoo…and the length of time I stay on is solely dependant on the “transfer of knowledge process” between me and the person they fly over from India, I reiterate, woo-fucking-hoo). And the company president is talking about ways to make 2009 a great year for the company and the big plans in place be successful (part of that plan would be to lay off about half their employees and ship everything of to India…doesn’t that sound like a stellar plan?????). Anyways…he kept talking about penetrating the market…penetrating customers…digging in deep to make an impact. I think he used penetrating and deep impact at least 4 times a piece in his little stint of verbal diarrhea. I still had visuals of the teabagging incident from yesterday in my head- so the whole penetrating and deep impact stuff wasn’t helping the dirty mind clean up.

Rock out, Cock out.